Have tongue, will talk; Have blog, will blog

love

2006-03-06T03:55:00.000-08:00

I love movies that explore the complexities of human relationships. And more so those on man-woman relationships. ;-) So Before Sunrise and then its sequel Before Sunset made for a perfect weekend.

Eathan Hawk and Julie Delpy were meant to hit it off from the word go. and what chemistry and passion they share in these movies! everytime i see such movies - on romantic love and what it really means - most often than not, i end up on the confused side.

the latest to add to that confusion is this theory a friend has - love is too powerful an emotion and quite selfless by nature that its not true that we are actually in love with who we think we are in love with. hmm. his take is - we as human beings are at best attached - strongly, emotionally, and otherwise, but all the same have huge expectations from partners - this is the one fallacy 'love' does not have - he says 'love' is when one expects nothign and is totally self-sacrificing. when one feels emotions of hurt, ego and pride - that simply aint love. so its at a highly selfless level that love happens.

ok, get the drift?

am not sure i completely agree (i think expectations make love the human emotion that it is supposed to be) - but i do see some point (not much though) in his argument. but this means ive been deceiving myself all this while ...and taht would be too tragic!

now, back to before sunrise/before sunset - the movie has some killer dialogues - one thing i can remember is this - celine (thts julie delpy's character in the movie) is a die-hard romantic - believes in destiny, romance and passion - she says: when u dont believe in magic and mystery, you are as good as dead. simple, but profound eh?

the more you analyse, the stranger it gets. so, its best left unexploreD? not really. the feeling - however one looks at it - is worth the trouble taken. and makes for lively debate, what say?

back!

2005-12-25T05:04:00.000-08:00

this post comes - just when i thought i would give up blogging for good...just when everyone else who ever visits this blog gave up on me,....

okay there are reasons why i stayed away - first and foremost being my inability to come up with anything worth the while. i was caught in a fix that arose out of not wanting to use this space as a forum for discussion on worldly affairs. what are rediff fora for anyway?? But that i have been using my blog space for no discussion too signifant was a fact that struck me hard. pray what am i doing here. what are my intentions really --- a) to have the longest discussion/comment thread ever threaded? b) to flaunt my language skills (perhaps!) c) or to merely entertain. i am yet to discover this.... well when i truly discover myself in this world, such issues may seem petty... and unnecessary.

speaking of discovering oneself, my bday just passed by.. yet again reminding me of the things i have failed to accomplish. birthdays somehow begin on a cheery note, but at the end of the day, you are exhausted, full of questions, doubts and fears. well let me draw up my 'things to achieve by the time i am 25' list. life aint bad, but one always wishes it were better. am no exception to this rule.

now, there is going to a complete digression here - cant think of a proper connector. just like my semi-lucid thoughts in most of my entries on this blog. flitting from one idea to another ...

so, the brahmin congregation is in full swing in chennai what with sabhas brimming with those from this ilk. well well well.. no point arguing the reverse. but, setting aside such debate, its time to welcome the kutcheri season. like it or hate it - but u cant ignore it.

havent been able to go to too many concerts, but TMK impressed me the most. Krishna abounds with talent... very interesting selection of ragas. neat presentation. but he does get a bit irritated with indisciplined crowd. ha..when will we ever learn audience discipline? dont we expect artists to mature with time, but will we ever, i wonder! till such time, we may have to be reminded of etiquette i suppose ... like TMK has been doing at his concerts. his thumb rule for good concert pleasure(!!!) - do not leave auditorium during any song, do not leave during the tani and do not leave till i finish the mangalam!!!!

just a few points to ponder though there are many many more...

- will someone take greater care in stage decor please. can gaudy colours and old discoloured photos of thyagaraja be replaced with more soothing colours and interesting snapshots. thotta tharani are you listening.. hee hee..i know am getting carried away here!
- more youngsters in the audience pls. wont say more.
- a more carnival atmosphere pls minus the snobbery of course!

folks pls add to the list of suggestions!

new home for the ashes

2005-09-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

how can i not talk about cricket on my blog. that i have kept away from it was because nothing short of history shall find a place in my space. ha ha how vain this sounds.

and it feels weird to be talking about england, not india. well india will have to do something spectacular to find a mention in here. and it doesnt seem to be anywhere close to doing that in the near future. anyway... this blog entry is not about depressing events but about a truly long-awaited happy one.

am sure most of you would have loved england beat the till-not-so-long-ago mighty aussies. guardian and and london times have lovely reviews. be sure to read them. while the aussie papers grudgingly write "its good for the game" reports. ha how they hate to lose! but i must say warne and co have been sporting losers. of course i hate to call them 'losers' coz they arent. but this was one series which emotionally and rightfully so belonged to england right from the start. if this team with its peitersons and freddies hadnt done it, they could have never hoped to ever achieve it.

yes its good for the game all right. and am not even suggesting that its good the cocky aussies were put in place for the first time (although i remember mcgrath's almost taken for granted reminder of a 5-nil result!). its good coz complete domination in any sport proves to be a killjoy...
and the prudish english do laugh and celebrate. this is one such rare moment...worth the wait. for us too its been worth the wait.

and there have been quite a few faithful followers at my office praying for an england win. i cant decide if they love england that much or simply hate the aussies. either way.... doesnt really matter. its a fine dividing line i think.

the weird lift man

2005-09-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

the building was run-down and pretty much shady looking ... and here i was expecting to meet a marketing guy of a firm. not someone from the glitzy corporate world..but nevertheless a marketing person from a company that seems to have etched its presence across the city.

thank god i am not alone i told my colleague anju, as scary images and thoughts came teeming into my head. i even looked around to see if ther was any escape route..just in case you see. and darn the heat wasnt helping.

to top it all, like it happens in our films, the lift operator was weird. either he was deaf or insane or just out to kill boredom i do not know. but it was sure scary to be caught in the lift with a nutty character. he was an old man, not too old but he had grey hair all over his head, so i assume he wasnt in his prime.

when he asked 'enga ponum?' i quickly replied - second floor. he again asked me the same question. i cooly said - second floor. but when he asked the same thing again, i was not amused. i said -- rendaavadhu floor - thinking probably he didnt get english. the fourth time he asked me 'enga ponum,' i lost my cool..my colleague didnt do much to clear the 'situation.' but she too kept saying second floor quite a few times. then he asked 'endha company'..

ok..my patience was running out. how does it matter which company..as long as he knows which floor to get us out. but i patiently said XYZ....' didnt know the full name. (okay... i am not revealing the actual name. doesnt seem correct.)

a smart lift operator would have got it. but he just pretended to be dumb. 'XYZ....adhu enna?' he asked. then i fumbled around with my notes and looked for the right name before i said, "XYZ publicities.'

the operator probably thought he couldnt prolong this silly game further. so he accused us for not knowing the right name. i kept thinking..'but how does it matter, we want to get to floor 2." obviously this wasnt enough for our lift operator.

the worst was saved for the last. he wouldnt let us punch the numbers. he would do it himself. so instead of punching 2 (xyz publicities is on floor 2, we checked that outside!), he pressed four. i said 'two' curtly. he pressed '3' this time. hello.. hold on ..what was he doing wasting our time. playing jaltarang on the lift board or what? when he was about to press '5', i cut in and pressed '2' myself ,much to his annoyance.

one.. two..there came our floor. and we were about to get out, when he started instructing us on how to get to the office. i thought - 'dear lord.. here he goes again.' i had a good mind to tell him, 'back off. this aint a maze and we wont get lost,. considering that it was the only office on that floor. the other door pointed to a vacant office.'

having finally gotten rid of the lift guy, we sighed. i told anju 'we are walking down. no way am i taking that lift again.'

praying there wouldnt be any more such strange events, we went in. the office was desolate apart from two guys who thought it was cool to talk to us even as they were busy over the phone. they asked us to sit. and we turned around. pray where i asked?

the office you wont believe was in such a bad shape. the sofas - they were in terrible condition -- with such long cuts -- as though someone had ruptured it with a blade or knife. add to this the fact that the sponge was struggling to break free.

to cut an already long story short.. the interview was wrapped up quicker than we had planned to. we were so desperate to get out. and when the guy asked if we would have somehting to drink..we chorused 'no.' not another adventure please.

to the architect of the future

2005-07-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

To the sister of my heart...,

I will miss you terribly aarthi. As you embark upon an important journey in your life, I know for sure LIFE wont be the same again, with you miles away from us all.

I've known you for eight years now, and i cant tell you how much I cherish your friendship and how much u mean to me. I dont think ive ever told you this. maybe i should have. people gotta tell they like/love each other more often than they do.

the times we three (divya being the other one) spent shopping, chit-chatting, watching crappy movies, the sleepovers... the saree-sessions (esp hilarious was the time when i tried teaching you how to drape a saree. and pity u still havent learnt it, leave alone master the art!)..sigh! sigh!sigh!

anytime i ran into trouble or met with a block in life, ive consulted you girls. trouble with X? call up aarthi and divya and pour the heart out. not pleased with Y, get their opinion on it. my my...am going to miss all this! what with divs goin away too.

thing is... those were fun times. may never get them back again, although i fervently hope we remain just as immature, silly and fun-loving as we are now, even three years later.

I have learnt a lot from you -- a bit of patience, a thing or two about meticulous planning, and how not to argue unecessarily and still get things done. am working on these aspects, aarthi, thanks to you.

before i get too sentimental and all soppy soppy, let me wish you all the best in everything you do. dream big and build big!

Love,
Sweth

School

2005-07-05T07:32:00.000-07:00

The last few days have raked memories like never before. I have this tendency to think back a lot and ponder over several bygones, especially the ones that arent so pleasant. Tend to think 'what if this hadnt happened' or 'what if that had indeed happened'. Pointless exercise i do agree. But think i cannot stop.

However, today and last thursday, i didnt have to think so hard. Nevertheless memories poured in thick and fast.

I think i went to school for the first time in six years, after i passed out. It was our dear Rani Chandran ma'am condolence meet. To think that lovely radiant face is no more around is shocking to say the least. And it wasnt exactly a welcome reunion with teachers, who were too overcome with emotion -- a real solemn occasion.
What a truly remarkable teacher Rani ma'am was!

Today, i was in a better frame of mind as i stepped into school again. to judge an extempore competition. this sounds as hilarious to me as it may to you all. But yeah i wasnt such a bad speaker (i certainly wasnt the best), so i guess i could be allowed to judge! being on the other side of the fence was great fun. took me back to the days when i used to feel so shy to get on stage and had to be goaded by teachers. i have spent sleepless nights, crying (my mom knows best) just cause i had to give some silly speech the next day. But i loved my voice and loved hearing it (how very modest of me!) so somehow i would bolster courage.
Once the first line came out of my mouth, other lines would flow freely thereafter. Even today, i wouldnt say i am a confident speaker, but have learnt to camouflage fear.

But forget the competition, i was too immersed in the atmosphere around-- the prayer assembly, the trees behind, the chit-chat of kids (yup..i am old enough to call them kids!), the hustle bustle... really exciting.

Walking along the corridors, visiting the library, roaming around the playground, greeting teachers and having a friendly banter with them (contrary to the half-awe half-fear sensations we used to have before), today morn was quite something.

and everytime a teacher asked me what i was up to and i said 'i am a journalist', i could hint a sense of pride and confidence -- forget all the grumbling i otherwise make about my job. for that one moment, i felt good about myself. (i perhaps was waiting for this day when i could tell my teachers i was a journalist. maybe explains why i hadnt visited school in all these years. perphaps i was waiting to become big enough so that i could flaunt with pride about what i have done with my life. this maybe some sort of a vain attempt at salvaging pride or boosting my ego..and not that the teachers were skeptical about me. they always loved me. but somehow a 'ghost' had entered my brain waiting to be pulled out. the demons are out now. i feel lighter and more confident.)

the highlight of the day was this big hug from behind by chitra devanathan. i jumped with joy as i saw her beaming face. oh how i love the school teachers!

i have had good days and bad ones at school but i wil always love psbb.

thiruvasagam

2005-07-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

Raja does it again. Having enthralled us with his fine music, ilaiyaraja has come up with another winner.
Thiruvasagam is indeed a terrific musical experiment...truly reflecting the genius that he is. beyond this i have no knowledge to comment on the intricacies.
its a bit heavy,.,afterall the subject chosen is a literary classic. but it sets you thinking. wondering... makes you feel nostalgic..
the purists may pan it. but even they would have to agree - this is one composition that knows no boundaries.
and i had the fortune of being there at the music academy (with mahesh for company). among a galaxy of stars and an unruly crowd (tamil crowd as someone put it is so unique.. we got to learn a thing or two about public behaviour. anything and everything is not a reason to hoot. jingoism is a unique tamil trait. that it spoils the sanctity of the situation, no one cares!), one got to be a part of history.
Hats off to Raja.

Paheli

2005-06-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

Saw this beautiful dream called Paheli. A colourful canvas, thats what it is. sheer poetry.
Well, what else can I say...
Enjoyed reading these reviews on the movie, as much as I relished the charming moments on screen.
Read these reviews folks. And yeah watch the movie..

http://in.rediff.com/movies/2005/jun/27pah.htm

http://in.rediff.com/movies/2005/jun/24pah.htm

a rethink perhaps?

2005-06-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

hmm.. sometimes i wonder if i use my blog as a bouncing board. and if its really what blogs are meant for. of course, whos to say blogs have specific functions or definitions.

while my posts are casual offhand and sometimes flippant, the response i get are severe. and my reactions too reflect my frustration, angst and what not. perhaps time i use my blog as a medium of "self-expression." ok ok...am snapping out of this serious tone. and NOW.

today was action-packed. morning at this girls home for a craft session -- making chains from lovely colourful beads and bells. great fun. then watched 'Ullam Ketkume' with divya and aarthi. morons both of them -- they came late for the movie by half-hour. stuck in traffic, says aarthi and asks me to go in and and not wait. i was aghast at this suggestion. how could i go in alone? i have never done that before. these are times when my saggitarian confidence lets me down. but eventually there was little else to do. so i decided to go in. prayers on my lips? no chance! this is something i want to write on..but for another day.

those were the most lonely 30 minutes of my life. watching a movie alone, with seats on either side empty. i felt like a fool. people would have thought i was a freak. who cares, my mind told me. you shouldnt be caring swetha, i told myself. but it wouldnt work. i felt so conscious and nervous.

but why should i have felt like that -- looking at the watch every second, typing out smses furiously..enquiring where they were, how long it would take. i dont think i paid much attention to the movie. might have as well waited outside!

come they did. boy, i was so relieved.

the movie was okay. but not without its share of cliches.
wud fit the 'candy floss' genre. shaam was alive, aryan was hot, laila was cute, asin was beautiful and yeah yeah the story was decent.

as usual me cries at the end of the movie. sob sob sob. sniff..sniff..sniff. oh poor me! such a sucker for romance! heart romba weak enakku. and to think people think am brave.

and yeah aarthi waits till i finish crying fully and wipe away my tears, she peers up into my eyes from below (i wonder how she managed such an uncomfortable position!) before commenting to diya, "yeah di. she cried."

but to digress a bit -- look at it this way - it takes courage to cry and let people know what you think. its my theory that people who cry are not weak-kneed or emotionally unstable. they are infact strong enough to accept that they are temporarily affected by pain and dont want to hide it.

then ate at that horrendous looking food court in the theatre. i cant believe we sat next to a hideous looking egyptian pharoah. (hope i got the spelling right). but the panneer sandwich was top of the world stuff.

still, i had to miss onion sambar and vendakkai at home for lunch. perhaps i can still have a go at it for dinner.

what i did today

2005-06-05T04:22:00.000-07:00

this post is for random access whos getting rather restless by the postlessness of my blog. and also a bit jealous of girls. ;-) and if this post sounds perdestrian, blame it on RA. i wasnt writing coz ther was nothign to write on..but now...

the day began with ..ah this is cliched..
but it still began with an early morning (early by my standards atleast) wake up call... courtersy dear aarthi. but i was too groggy to talk properly thanks to the effect of the drug i am under for my throat infection. and she later tells me that i sounded tense and unfriendly...
well this is what some well-meaning friends say of my phone personality even otherwise. then i must have sounded real bad today.

(i am doing my earnest best to sound chirpy over the phone. but somehow all my attempts get varied reactions - hey dont shout, hey you sound irritated, hey you sound bored. well. i guess am not a great talker over phone. darn... but i think am good in person -- chirpy, excited, hyper, sometimes and in full form -- my wry sense of humour or should i say 'sarcasm' never fails me! what say?).

anyway...the five of us --- mahesh, girish, divya, aarthi and i met at saravana bhavan for breakfast. thers a new saravana bhavan in ashok nagar, folks. its a decent place. spent about an hour there.

we were discussing plans for our future - like what happens when aarthi and divya move out of chennai, what will happen to me? (thats when i took this 'adhiradi' decision to get married by july so that i dont have to spend thursdays alone!!!), girish's treat for IIM --actually this is still pending. as in the place, date and time, should mahesh come to chennai or stay in blore..and a whole lot more.

in between we were identifying ragas and songs played out ther in the hotel. some points to ponder: is it the same song being played over and over again? is the same tape doing god knows how many full circles? and why is dwijavanti dominating the session? while divya found the ragam 'amazing', girish wondered why he was being put to sleep in the morning.

btw for those who havent seen, girish has a beard. maybe girish can post a pic on his blog for the world to see.

hey last week, divya and i went to the world space 'carnatic chills' concert by ganesh-kumaresh at narada gana sabha. simply mind blowing. its fascinating to see strings coming to life at the hands of two geniuses. keith peters with his bass guitar, 'good looking' ravichandra kulur on the flute and manargudi easwaran were equal to the task. ther jugalbandi was exciting. and yeah world space is doing a fabulous job..promoting arts and all. have to buy it.

ok revert to today: breakfast done, came back home, found mom poring over the papers, making notes, phone calls, dad yelling coz he couldnt find what he was looking for, and i slink in and watch TV. i have a set top box now.

its 5.33 pm. i am in office blogging. yeah yeah i work on sundays.

and the wedding itself

2005-05-22T03:47:00.000-07:00

hey my blog has too much wedding talk, time i look at other things. but this is whats been happening this week, so i have to talk about it.

so yeah to let out a secret. it wasnt exactly my cousin's wedding. she is my actually mom's cousin. yeah yeah..big family. my thatha is the eldest of seven or eight brothers. so this girl is my last chinna thatha's daughter. shes my age though.! hmm...

anyway, saturday began with a recital of andal kalyanam from divya prabhandam (thats what the elders said.). it was fun to watch. an old mami and her troupe singing--- katha kalakshebham style. very good.
followed by a pinnal kollaattam. yeah u guessed right, by mamis again. it was fun and funny to watch a bunch of mamis singing and dancing (partially..moving in a rhythmic fashion if not dancing) excitedly.

then amazing 'tiffin'. halwa, sevai and dosas. yumm! i can still smell the halwa with ghee.. drip drip drip. wow!

after this it was time to tease my chiteeeeeeeeeee (the bride!) and then deck up in all finery. and i must say i was quite happy with the way i looked that day. (and the next day) black and red sari..that i talked about in an earlier post.

i was busy just flitting my eyes across the hall just like that (i was a bit bored now..after all the small-talk with relatives, running around kids and catching up with cousins (real ones this time). then i realised with a start that my mom was too. though for obviously different reasons. i gave her a weird 'amma, you are my amma' look when my mom divulged her reasons for doing so! ha ha. jokes apart, she did seem pretty serious when she pointed to someone. hmm...

what is it with these old women who seem to think weddings are occasions to get rid off their own children! i mean, really i cant be that much trouble?

the day ended with dinner. though i dont remember much of it, as the tiffin taste still lingered in my mouth.

next day: woke up at 5.30. got dressed. wore a saree myself! must confess i was mad at my mom for not being around to help. she had other things to take care of, she said.

anyway back to the mandapam at 7.30. i discovered my throat infection that began on saturday afternoon still persisted. i knew i wud mess up 'oonjal' singing. but not to worry..i managed.
not without some competition from the boy's side. a couple of mamis again were so keen on singing all the songs, that i just let them. before the bride's mom forced me to croon...but the girl's side members were virtual siting ducks.

in the midst of all this, one old lady goes up to my mom's sister (another chithi) and asks of me --'yaaru indha kozhandai.' then my chithi innocently comes up to me and asks - "Bostonlaam paravaillaiya?". And all i can do is give her the characteristic 'no way' look which she is so used to by now. but i suspect my chitis and my mom are gonna gang up on me one of these days.

after the muhurtam, my mom and i walk up to the newly weds to wish them. and my mom being the livewire she is, says this to the guy - 'my husband is the first maapillai of this family and you are the last."
My mom is the eldest daughter of the oldest thatha around. which makes my dad not only the first maapillai but also the oldest one! there have been times when my dad is mistaken to be my thatha! ok if u ever get to read this appa (which you wont), no offence meant, pa.

anyway, what a parallel! even the slightly puzzled young maapillai couldnt help but smile at my mom's observation.

it was time to leave then and now too.

in the heat of the moment...

2005-05-18T03:29:00.000-07:00

i dont know if i should clog my blog with serious posts on nuclear proliferation, communal backlash or some such crap, or if i should try and make my uninteresting life seem interesting.
i choose the latter.

but i realise this is no easy task. what was i doing 'blogless' when i had some exciting moments to talk about! anyway.

so, its the wedding season now, but pray why? isnt it bloody hot to think of getting married? and if you are a tam-brahm, finished!!!!! spare a thought for the bride, people. i know of so many tying the knot this month and the next. one of my friends got engaged this month, 2 of my cousins getting married this week. and one friend next month. hmm...talk of splendid timing.

but yeah weddings in general are fun. heat or no heat. of course, i hate the crowd. but if its a close person's wedding, there's lot to do and look forward to. the singing, the colour, the sarees, the men to check out, the food, the swirling gossip, more colour...

and my mom has gone crazy with me talking all the time about what i should wear for my cousin's wedding. wow am i excited or what. hello. is this really me? a few years ago, i would have scorned at the idea...

btw i am supposed to sing at my cuz's wedding. gosh have developed cold feet already. i have never sung in front of many people before. testing waters at a wedding??? hmmm.. am not sure this is such a good idea.

just finished reading this book - the curious incident of the dog in the night time. a must-read! looking at life from the eyes of a differently abled person. shakes some of the beliefs we have. how often we take life for granted. those who have read this book, may we start a mini-discussion on it please? am dying to..

Have begun another book. this one something really light. a coffee table book actually. 'the chennai latte'. good for browsing through when travelling. i dont need to say that the book is about madras. its funny, but a bit verbose. the caricatures are funnier than the narrative. okay, now this reads like a book review.

god, i do need all the courage if i have to sustain my blogathlon. i seem to be struck with blogger's block in every para i write. (btw is blog a verb or a noun??). looking for all the inspiration that my co-bloggers can pass on. no, this is not a sneaky attempt at getting 'positive-sounding' comments for my post. but it will help if an unintended intention gets noticed. ;-)

ok, me got to get outta here.

Officially offended!

2005-05-15T03:10:00.000-07:00

an insult in the heat of the afternoon! i guess this is what it takes to force me to write.
for the record,

am officially offended.

so, what was the insult all about? it had to do with me not deserving 20 comments for an insipid post. this is only partially true (the truth lies in the description of the post) but, in my defence, can i help it if people flock to my blog just like that? however, i take this insult as a compliment.

ok me jus kidding. but i do think its time to shrug off my laziness and show up from hiding.

and now for the toughest part. what have i got to say this time so that i actually deserve the comments that people post???

i was wondering how all this would sound to a person who stumbles here accidentally. would it make any sense to her?
i mean i would be talking about people i know (and i wouldnt be giving them any intros, definitely), so will this make meaningful read to her? so should i then try and make it sound meaningful to people like her? naaaaaaaaah.

let me just ramble on..with no beginning or end really. after all blogs are also online journals, arent they?

at this point of time there are several questions running through my mind. for instance - somehting as basic as -- what should i write? to something as absurd as - should i edit my blog after i write it? will it make my blog too perfect and less like a blog?

but this is one is important - should i let my blog reflect my inner thoughts and personality. my good friend once wrote in his blog that blogs essentially reflect what one thinks or what she is. really? so what does one make of me from what i write? (i am really intereted in knowing what people think of me from this POST). is it possible to conceal my real identity by deliberately writing about stuff i dont give a damn about.

ok on to mundane things - today was really sweltering. (i hereby declare that only chennaites are allowed to curse the city's weather. all others cannot!) bought a saree to wear to my cousin's wedding this saturday. nice black and red saree. i had divya and aarthi for company.

i hate shopping. will anyone believe me if i say this, coz i seem to be doing nothing else but that of late. but the truth is i hate it at one level- that is when i dont get what i want. but am such an impulsive compulsive shoppaholic. the perils of free money to spend, u see. but otherwise i dont like to dwell on things am not going to buy. to me shopping is all about focussing on things u need. mere browsing or looking around aimlessly is a big no-no when u desperately need something. after all, there are other vetti days to meander.